Let's Annoy Mario!
by AlwaysNinja
Summary: The red plumber himself becomes forced to live with Louise, a girl whose sole purpose is to torment him, or so he thinks.  100 annoyances for Mario and occasionally Luigi.  Enjoy!
1. Meet Louise

**My attempt at those "annoy" fics. I realized that the famous Mario himself has not yet been tormented! Let the fun begin!  
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**Disclaimer: I own Louise, nothing else. **

**Enjoy!**

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><p>The house had a perfectly manicured lawn, a spotless front door, and a beautifully sloped roof. The hogshead to be perfect, for it was visited often. Mail koopas, fans, mail koopas carrying fan mail… The list was long. The point is, the house gets a lot of traffic. In fact, one such visitor seems to be coming now.<p>

A young teenager, 13 years old, tucked a strand of brown hair behind her ear. In one hand she held a small tote filled to the brim. In the other she clutched an autograph book and pen. Setting the tote down lightly, she knocked on the door to the Mario brother's house.

Mario answered the door. "Hello, how may I help you?" He was a bit suspicious of the girl. Strangers always worried him.

The girl looked up shyly. "Um, hi. I'm a big fan of Luigi, and so I was hoping to get his autograph." She pulled a wrapped parcel of cookies out of her bag. "I brought cookies! They're a little squished but..." The cookies were covered in green sprinkles and were wrapped with great care.

Mario's expression softened. "I'll get him, just wait a moment." He retreated a few steps and called into the house, "Luigi! Someone's here to see you!"

Luigi walked to his brother. "Yeah, who is it?" Then his eyes fell on his fan. "Oh, hello. Who are you?"

"Louise," The girl replied, while handing him the cookies. "Could you sign this for me? Please?" She turned to an empty page of her autograph book and handed it to him.

"Of course," Luigi said, pleased to have a fan of his own. "And... here you go!" Smiling brightly, he handed the book back to Louise.

The fan smiled in return and placed her book back in her bag. "Okay, and just one more thing..." While reaching into her bag, she grabbed a small, shiny metal object. With a cruel smirk, she pulled out the pistol and aimed it at Mario. Mario froze, staring at the apparently crazy girl.

"Give me all of your coins. NOW!" Luigi made a movement as if to stop her, but froze as well when Louise called, "Sorry Luigi, but if you try anything I _will_ shoot."

Mario slowly walked to the back of the room. He pulled a large sack of coins from a safe and handed it to Louise.

"Thank you." She pulled a sort of ray gun from her bag and aimed it at the coins. They promptly disappeared, and a dinging noise was heard from the device. Louise grinned and explained, "I just deposited those to my bank account. Nifty, isn't it?"

Mario frowned. "Fine, whatever. Will you leave now?"

Louise shook her head. "Nope. Just gotta do one more thing." She slowly moved her trigger finger, keeping the gun trained on Mario's head. She applied pressure, and the gun went off.

Luigi gasped, Mario grimaced and closed his eyes, not able to see what the gun fired. He felt however, something wet on his face and heard hysterical laughing. "Your faces!" Louise gasped for breath. "They were hilarious!" She dropped to the ground, rolling around. "Hilarious!" she screeched.

Mario wiped his forehead and opened his eyes to see his hand covered in... water?

"Hahahahahahahaha oh Grambi your faces were so great!" Louise, completely ignoring the Mario brothers' shock, continued to laugh.

Mario's tone was annoyed. "You robbed us with a _water gun_?"

Louise abruptly stopped her laughing. "Of course. You didn't really think people my age could get real guns, did you?" Seeing Mario's face, she amended her statement. "You did. Okay then, I'm ready to make a proposition."

She faced blank stares.

"I will give you your coins back _if_ you allow me to stay in your home for... hmm... a hundred days."

"And we would do that _why_?"

"Cause otherwise you're broke! And if you call the police or the princess or whatever you Mushroomers call, I will destroy the account." She held up her ray gun thing, and displayed a red button. "I touch this, and all your coins are donated to charity!"

Mario raised an eyebrow. "And if we just take the money back?"

"Only I know the code to open this, and I'll never tell. Never. NEVER!"

"Okay... Lemme talk to Luigi really quickly." Mario spun around to face his brother, talking in hushed tones. "What should we do?"

"I think we can let her stay while we get the royal forces to surround the house, then we'll force her out and get our money back!"

"Perfect idea!"

The two brothers spun around to face Louise. "Sure, you can stay," Mario said.

"I can! Great!" She pulled a sheet of paper out from her bag. "Could you just sign this, please? It says you won't hurt me, et cetera, et cetera."

Shrugging, Mario and Luigi both signed the contract. Louise then smiled and said, "And now your plans are ruined. You just legally agreed to not in any way call for backup or attempt to regain your coins." With a maniacal laugh, Louise skipped up the stairs and called, "So, show me to my room!

Mario and Luigi sighed and showed Louise to their guest room. She promptly started pulling things from her tote, including some clothing, a green blanket, and a purple pillow. It was clear that she had already planned this in advance, and had thus prepared to stay awhile. As she was making up her bed, she smiled at the Mario brothers. "Thank you for your generosity! Now leave!" She pushed them out of her room and slammed the door. Alone, she pulled out a notebook and murmured, "Phase one complete." She crossed off the first item on a list. The note read 'Rob Mario with a water gun'. She tapped her pencil to her lips and began writing new ways to annoy Mario and Luigi.

As the night came closer, she slipped into her new bed and smiled. All in all, it had been a pretty good day. She grinned as she listened to the footsteps of Mario next door. _He has no idea what's coming to him_, she thought. _ I can't wait for tomorrow. _ The girl fell asleep, dreaming up new ways to annoy Mario. 

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><p><strong>So, how was it? I will accept any suggestions on how to annoy Mario and perhaps Luigi in the future. Ah, they'll have so much fun! *evil smirk* <strong>


	2. Mall Day!

Hey all you bored/amused/random readers of my story! I want to apologize for the slow update on this chapter. But, y'know, it's up now so... Let the annoyance begin!

Disclaimer: I do not own Mario, Luigi, the Mushroom Kingdom, Nintendo, or a unicorn. I only own Louise and a stuffed pony.

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><p>Louise blessed the morning with a huge yawn. Peeking out the window, she found early light creeping across the sky. With a smile, she shook all sleepiness away from her mind and skipped out of her room. As she pranced down the stairs, she realized that she was the only one up. Her smile switched from cheerful to evil. Running back up the stairs, she drew breath for a huge shout.<p>

"Mario, Luigi! Get up! NOW!"

Mario groaned and stuck his pillow over his ears. He had tried to pass yesterday's occurrences off as a nightmare, but hearing that voice assured him that it was real. A tiny fist pounded at his bedroom door.

"Get up get up get up get up," Louise chanted. "We've got _lots_ to do today!"

An annoyed Mario opened the door. "Go away."

Louise ignored him, continuing her chant. A sleepy Luigi opened his door down the hall. With a squeal, Louise grabbed his hand and dragged him downstairs. "Come on! We gotta get breakfast and go!" As Luigi tried to avoid tripping down the stairs to his untimely doom, Mario was forced to follow.

"But it's only 6 am!" Luigi whined.

"Yeah, but it's light outside!" Louise pushed Luigi into a chair and promptly opened the refrigerator door. As Mario entered, she was pulling out eggs and starting the stove.

"Are you cooking?"

Luigi's tired question was answered with a bright, "Yep!" A pan was extracted from a cupboard and placed on a burner.

"Then shouldn't you _crack_ the eggs before you put them in the pan?"

Louise quickly extracted the whole egg she had placed in the pan. "Oops, sorry. I'm not that great at cooking." Lowering her voice to a murmur, she added, "Probably what started the house fire last time."

Mario shoved the girl away from the stove and began scrambling eggs. Louise mumbled a small 'thanks' and moved away. Luigi felt it necessary to break the awkward silence. "So… you said you had plans for today?"

Louise gave an excited nod. "Yeah! We're going to the mall! _Shopping spree_!" Realizing how girly that sounded, she abruptly stopped and coughed uneasily. "Uh, yeah. The mall. Yay."

Luigi and Mario gave her a look. "What? Oh…" Understanding dawned on her face, followed shortly by anger. "Not with your money, with mine. I have a job, you know! What, you thought I just robbed people for a living?" Seeing their blank stares, she added an indignant, "Well, I don't!"

Mario rolled his eyes. "Sure…"

"For your information, I have a job at an ice cream shop. And I'm quite good at it."

Luigi quickly changed the subject. "The mall?" he prompted.

Louise brightened. "Oh yes! We're leaving in 20 minutes!" She scarfed down her eggs and dragged the two brothers out the door, ignoring Mario's complaining that he hadn't finished his breakfast. They settled into a run as the mall came into sight. The trio came to an abrupt stop at the doors to the building. Gathering her composure, Louise forced herself to walk _calmly. _She turned to the Mario brothers. "Okay, battle plan," she started. "You follow me while I get everything I need. Any questions? None? Great!" Ignoring loud and numerous protests, she started towards a clothing shop. After just fifteen minutes, she had a large bag of clothes. One more store yielded two bags of small furniture and knick-knacks.

Then Louise entered a department store, and things got _really_ interesting.

"Dresses!" Louise screeched, diving into a forest of flowing fabric. She grabbed gowns seemingly at random, ending up with over 20 garments in her arms. She dragged Mario and Luigi towards the fitting rooms. "Now, you need to help me decide," she said, hanging her dresses outside a stall.

What followed was nearly two hours of torture for any person of the male species. Basically, they had to watch Louise try on all 23 of her dresses.

"So, what do you think?" Louise spun around in a blue sundress.

Mario's eye twitched. "That is the same dress you just tried on!"

Louise gasped, looking indignant. "No it's not! Are you blind? That one was sky blue. This one is turquoise."

Mario groaned and banged his head against the wall. "Worst. Trip. EVER."

Louise giggled. "Oh no, it's not! Cause now I get to try the _red_ dresses. There's apple and crimson and chestnut and rose and..." She pointed to about 6 garments in turn, rambling off the colors that she thought they were. "Or maybe that's more of a ruby," she mused, glancing at a gown.

Mario finally snapped. "WHO CARES? WE'RE LEAVING. NOW!" He grabbed Louise's hand and pulled her out of the store, followed by Luigi. He ran all the way home without stopping once, desperate to escape. He bolted inside his house and slammed the door.

Louise calmly skipped up the stairs and began placing her furniture in her room. Luigi knocked lightly on her door.

"Erm, Louise?" Louise glanced up as her favorite brother walked in. "I just wanted to apologize for Mario's behavior... If you want, I'll take you to the mall for a dress tomorrow."

Louise smiled. How sweet was that? But, she had to stick to her plan. As she turned back to folding her new clothes, she nonchalantly announced, "Oh, I never wanted a dress. I was just doing that to annoy you guys."

From the next room over, Mario screamed, "You what?"

Louise laughed. "Sounds like I succeeded," she said with a smirk.

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Louise crawled under her blanket and turned on a flashlight. She aimed it at a notebook and crossed out a line that read, "Dress shopping". With a smirk, she stashed her notebook under her pillow and went to sleep. So far, this was going very, _very_ well.

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><p>So, how'd you like it? I'll try to update sooner from now on...<p>

Please review. Reviews are the substance of my life.


	3. Bathroom Hideaway

**Sup, good readers of this story? I don't have much to say... just... Sorry for the late update, and enjoy the show ^^**

**Disclaimer: I. Don't Own. Mario. Or Luigi. PERIOD.**

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><p>It was another beautiful morning at the house of the Mario Brothers. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the famous plumbers were enjoying their sleep.<p>

"OH MARRRRIOOOOOO!" Well, they _were_ enjoying it.

"Mariooooo!" A girl slid down the handrail to the stairs, then raced up the stairs again. "Mario!" she continued her loud cries until the famous plumber finally exited his room.

"What?" he snapped irritably, facing the girl.

Louise gave a grin. "Mornin'!" she cried, sliding down the handrail once more.

Mario groaned and rubbed his temples. "I'm going to go change. Don't do _anything_!" With that, he turned back into his room.

Luigi slowly walked out of a door down the hall, yawning and fully dressed. "Uh, Louise? What's wrong?" The teenager was rolling around on the floor making choking sounds.

"Well," she gasped. "Mario said 'don't do anything', so I can't breathe."

Luigi sighed and said, "Of course you can breathe!"

Louise suddenly gulped in air and chirped, "Thanks, Luigi!" She then dashed over to said plumber and hugged him. "You're so nice," she added, just as Mario came out. "...unlike _him_!"

Mario rolled his eyes and headed down the stairs. "Oh, stop that."

"Never! Never, never, never, _never_!" Louise ran into the kitchen, grabbed an apple, and ran back to where Mario and Luigi were still standing. "So..." she said, biting the apple, "today I shall take a shower."

Mario brushed past her and started to fix his own breakfast. "Good to know."

"Yeah, and I'm just telling you to stay on this side of the house." There was only one bathroom in the house, since two brothers could easily share it. It was upstairs, in between Mario and Luigi's rooms. "Mmkay?"

Mario sighed. "Sure, whatever."

"Okay! And, uh, it might take me awhile." She stopped and giggled slightly. "I'm a girl, you know?"

With no further ado, she raced up the stairs again and filled her tote with her own shampoo, conditioner, hairbrush, change of clothes, towel, and, after a quick glance to make sure no one was watching, a DS.

Louise slipped into the bathroom, locked the door, and turned on the shower. After a speedy 4-minute rinse, she changed and sat down on the floor, back against the door. With a snicker, she pulled out her DS, leaving the water running. "This might take awhile," she muttered, starting up a game.

After 20 minutes, she turned off the water and kept playing. After an hour, she heard some voices from downstairs.

"What's taking her so long? It's been like an hour!"

"Oh, come on Mario. She warned us that she would take a long time. Just let it be."

Louise grinned and continued mashing buttons on her handheld device. This was working out well. Another hour passed, and lunchtime was approaching. Louise was battling a very difficult boss, and Mario was getting irritated.

"It's been _so long_! I'm checking on her. Maybe she jumped out the window or something." Louise smirked. This was a perfect opportunity! She quickly wrapped her towel around her and arranged her slightly wet hair to cover up all traces of her t-shirt. She unlocked the door and picked up her brush, idly running it through her tangled brown hair.

"Louise! What are you doing in there?" As expected, Mario's voice floated through the door. "Okay, I'm opening the door! Tell me if you don't want me to." Louise remained silent, giving Mario reason to slowly poke his head through the door. "What is taking so long?"

Louise gave a (very well practiced) shriek and threw her hairbrush at Mario, screaming, "I'm not done!" Said plumber quickly retreated from the room, rubbing his sore head. Louise smiled evilly and returned to her game as soon as she heard the footsteps retreat. Stupid Mario hadn't even noticed the edge of her shorts peeking put from underneath her towel. Ah well, he was probably annoyed. Right? As Louise pressed her ear to the door, she heard a clearly disgruntled Mario explaining to Luigi that 'the little terror' was, in fact, _not_ done.

After another two hours of killing monsters in her virtual world, eating snacks she had smuggled into the room, and listening to her Mp3 player, Louise was starting to get bored. She repacked her bag, fluffed her now-dry hair, and skipped out of the bathroom. "Hello boys!" she greeted as she slid down the handrail (again).

"Why can't you just use the stairs?" Mario grumbled.

"Normal people use the stairs. Cool people don't."

"But I use the stairs," Luigi protested.

"Oh, uh..." Louise paused. "Ah-ha! Cool people don't use the stairs _or_ wear red."

Luigi snickered at his brother's annoyed roll of the eyes and handed Louise a plate of spaghetti. "We saved you some lunch, if you want it. You've been up there for a while."

"Oh, I know. It was fun! I finally got past the battle levels."

Mario and Luigi exchanged a look. "The what?"

"Battle levels," Louise replied between bites of pasta. "I wasn't showering the whole time. I was just on my DS."

Mario began banging his head on the table. "When did you stop showering?"

"After about... uh... five minutes?"

That did it for the red-clad "uncool" hero. He left the room, glaring at Louise all the while.

Louise turned to Luigi, who was watching his brother storm away with great amusement. "You think he's annoyed?"

Luigi chuckled. "I would say so."

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><p><strong>End chapter 3! Sorry if it's a little short, this idea didn't take much elaborating.<strong>

**So, you like? Tell me! You have more ideas? They're welcome! You have writing advice? Go ahead! You hate? Well... haters gonna hate. XD**


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